I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
