Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
That's how pantless uber rides happen
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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