Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
