K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
