It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize