Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
