How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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