Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
