so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
