I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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