How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
