We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
