just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
