Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
