so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
