I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
