he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
We smell like vodka and hangover
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