So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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