I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
