Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
