You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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