so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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