i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
