I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
