Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
