Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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