Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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