Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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