they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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