Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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