She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
