yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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