He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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