Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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