You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
