at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
What a dumb baby whore.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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