i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
