That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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