She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
