pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
