My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
