we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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