He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
