If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
