So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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