I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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