hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
