I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
