I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
