I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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