i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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