whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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