I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
