hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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