Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
