I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
