i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I supernannyed him into submission
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
