I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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