I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
