He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He told me they were just razor bumps!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
