Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
