The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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