You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
