She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
