I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
